How to handle rejections

So you applied for a position somewhere and you didn't get chosen? Not to worry, you're just a couple of lines away from reading the perfect follow-up letter in such a case.

I found this sample letter a couple of years ago on the Riley Guide, but there was no information on the original writer of this precious gem, so no credit can ultimately be given to the mastermind (names have been altered for privacy).

Anyway, here's the letter, enjoy:

March 14, 2006

Professor Mc Milan
Chair - Search Committee
Department of Biochemistry
University of Towanda Health Sciences Center
Towanda, IA

Dear Professor Mc Milan,

Thank you for your letter of March 6. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me an assistant professor position in your department.

This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates it is impossible for me to accept all refusals. Despite the University of Towanda's outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at this time. Therefore, I will assume the position of assistant professor in your department this May. I look forward to seeing you then.

Best of luck in rejecting future applicants.

Sincerely,

Goddard Youville